Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween

It's that time of year again, Halloween! It has always been one of my favorite holidays (yes I consider it a holiday) not only for the free candy and cool costumes, but it is one of those times where you get to learn interesting and creepy stories, such as the one I learned about today. The story is about a man named H.H. Holmes. He was a serial killer who killed his victims in a secret torture hotel. It was designed so that only he knew where everything was, and his victims could not escape. supposedly he killed over 100 people, but only a fraction of that have been confirmed. If you want to know more about this creepy person I suggest you click this link HERE.
I am working on an art project right now for school. Its a boring still life but I think it will be decent so Ill post it when its done, SERIOUSLY! no bull I promise.
I still feel terrible about the loss of my dog, but I guess its ok to feel that way. I just hope she knows how important she was to me.

again this blog has turned into the opposite of what I wanted it to be, but for the time being I don't mind, as long as I post some art soon I feel the art gods will be satisfied. (aka ME)

anyways happy Halloween everybody!

P.S. This Saturday I plan on going to a gallery to see Takashi Murakami, a famed japanese artist. His artwork is really intriguing and I hope to see more of it in person. Also there is a Giant Robot thing going on near by so i will most likely swing by there as well. More info about that soon.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Today we put her down

This morning we all woke up and took her to the vet, to get her euthanized. We were all silent the way there. I didn't really feel much, until I saw the vet, and it slowly, feeling trickled back to me. We waited in there for what seemed like forever. Only sparse comments broke the silence. I wanted to stay with her, but the doctor advised me against it. We all said our goodbyes, my mother and sister were in tears. I gave her a pat on the back as the doctor picked her up and took her away. Thats when it really hit me. My eyes welled up, and I wanted to follow her, but I knew I couldn't. It was really hard to fight the tears, I just wish there was something I could do. This all sounds very mellow dramatic, but I mean this in all seriousness. I feel very lonely, knowing I'll never see her again, I just can't believe something with such vigor and life in them could be taken away from me. We were silent the entire way home. I didn't go to school today, I just want to stay home and sit. I try to briefly escape my despair through TV, though it all seems to remind me of reality. I just want to escape it, but I can't. I don't want it to be real, but it is. I look out the glass door to my backyard, longingly, hoping to see her standing at the door, waiting to come in, but there is of course, nothing. This is pretty much the most Emo thing I have ever written, but I kinda needed to do something, keep busy, because even though she was a dog, she was my friend, and I cared for her so much. She was so important to me, and now I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I hope that time will heal this deep wound that has been dealt to me.

Well there you go, that about wraps it up, I wish something would fill the void that is inside of me right now, but I am afraid nothing will, because nothing can replace that bond I shared with my dog.

Here is a picture that my sister took of her, I mostly don't like taking pictures or being in them, but especially now I see the merit in them, and I am happy I have something I can keep that will remind me of her.
I miss you so much.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Loss of a friend

Its been a while internet, I know, and I feel like I need to write out a few things, even though I said I would try to cut back on that stuff, and it may seem really lame to write this, but I need to right now because right now life isn't so good. My dog, Sandy, is going to be put down tomorrow, and I am very very very sad. It might be hard to convey, but I really considered that dog to be a family member, and a very close friend. She is so great and always wants to be with people, even when you can see its hurting her so much. She has an auto-immune disorder, where her red blood cells are being destroyed. We found this out just a few days ago when she was going in for a rabies shot, the doctor noticed how pale she was and now all of this is happening. The doctor is a great guy and you can see that he really cares, but he said it himself that he is surprised she is still alive, and even if she makes it through this, it would just be a precursor for even worse things. I am trying to grieve, but its hard, because it doesn't really seem real. I always expected for my dog to be around. I never really though about her dying. This is just such a shock for me. I feel like I am losing my best friend, and so this post I want to dedicate to my dog Sandy, one of my best friends, who was always there for me when i got home, who always tried to have fun, who always burped in my face, who always had so much energy, who always was a sweet wonderful dog. May she find happiness wherever we go after we leave this earth. I will miss you so so much.

(I'll try and get a picture up of her soon. Love you Sandy.)

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Video game nonsense

Whoa! Its feels like its been a long time since I posted on this old thing. Lets try and get things up to speed... Well i did not win that competition. I hoped i would but i lost, and to be honest i feel a few of the winners are undeserving. (thats not me being a sore loser, just some of the designs were retarded. go look for yourself if you don't believe me.) I have been playing ALOT of video games lately. Mostly my game of choice has been the Team Fortress 2 Beta. Man that game is so much fun! i have had a blast playing with a few people from various forums and websites, as well as just playing with random people. I love being the scout and running around and batting people. Spy is also another favorite of mine. Getting a stab on some one when they have there back turned, is soooooooooo satisfying. It needs a bit of tweaking to be honest but its pretty well balanced i will say. I have been playing some Dawn of war Dark crusade too, which is also really fun. It can be pretty unbalanced admittedly but if you are skillful you can win most of the time. As far as art goes, I have run into a bit of a problem with my crab picture, but it should be done by Monday so ill try to take a picture of it if i like it. I also had to sign up for this website called for my art class so ill post it because i feel like it and it has a cool song in the gallery.
thats really about it. I have a lot of art to do if im going to stay in ap.
yeahh other then that so far life is decent. Im tired so here is a cool picture of the tau. good night.