Today we put her down

This morning we all woke up and took her to the vet, to get her euthanized. We were all silent the way there. I didn't really feel much, until I saw the vet, and it slowly, feeling trickled back to me. We waited in there for what seemed like forever. Only sparse comments broke the silence. I wanted to stay with her, but the doctor advised me against it. We all said our goodbyes, my mother and sister were in tears. I gave her a pat on the back as the doctor picked her up and took her away. Thats when it really hit me. My eyes welled up, and I wanted to follow her, but I knew I couldn't. It was really hard to fight the tears, I just wish there was something I could do. This all sounds very mellow dramatic, but I mean this in all seriousness. I feel very lonely, knowing I'll never see her again, I just can't believe something with such vigor and life in them could be taken away from me. We were silent the entire way home. I didn't go to school today, I just want to stay home and sit. I try to briefly escape my despair through TV, though it all seems to remind me of reality. I just want to escape it, but I can't. I don't want it to be real, but it is. I look out the glass door to my backyard, longingly, hoping to see her standing at the door, waiting to come in, but there is of course, nothing. This is pretty much the most Emo thing I have ever written, but I kinda needed to do something, keep busy, because even though she was a dog, she was my friend, and I cared for her so much. She was so important to me, and now I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I hope that time will heal this deep wound that has been dealt to me.

Well there you go, that about wraps it up, I wish something would fill the void that is inside of me right now, but I am afraid nothing will, because nothing can replace that bond I shared with my dog.

Here is a picture that my sister took of her, I mostly don't like taking pictures or being in them, but especially now I see the merit in them, and I am happy I have something I can keep that will remind me of her.
I miss you so much.